The Inevitable Mental Breakdown

I apologize for not posting yesterday, but I had a difficult time with the cleanse versus my mind. I was starving all day and night, and I was worried that I wasn’t getting enough calories. I did some research online trying to find the caloric content of a juice cleanse similar to mine or even mine in particular, but instead I found countless articles from fitness and health magazines and forums regarding a juice cleanse as ” the most accepted form of anorexia today”. Essentially, they all insisted that the cleanse only allotted a very small amount of calories per day and instead of losing weight, you would likely gain due to a slowing of your metabolism from the starvation. After confiding in my dad (he’s sort of my coach at this point), he said that 5 days or even 10 wouldn’t likely affect your metabolism and that it should be okay. He did, however, suggest that if I have extreme hunger pangs from a lack of calories that I should eat some protein or something clean to fill the void (if I’m worried about my well being).

Some sites online also had a list of things to avoid, that I found hysterical (here’s a small example):

• Don’t watch television (only watch DVDs and netflix)
• Don’t tell any of your friends (they will discourage you)
• Don’t leave your house for long periods of time, or at all if you can
• Think of yourself skinny
• BE A FREAKING SLAVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND BE OBSESSED!

While I feel the hunger pangs are definitely a sign of starvation, I can tell that the mental part of it all is definitely spurred by TV…commercials. I was actually watching a documentary called Killer Large a few nights ago (which I did not like, but found interesting in some parts) and they stressed how strong our eating patterns are affected by relentless, directed advertising from a young age. For example, when George Bush launched a health movement…he used characters from popular companies like Pixar, McDonalds, Coke and so on to stress working out and playing rather than eating healthy. When pushes were made to promote healthy eating at home, their plans were interfered with as their monetary support was pulled. I just have one word…lobbying. And the rant is over and I won’t elaborate. It’s just frustrating. So in other words, I really wanted to eat out and eat a lot of commercial things because of commercials.

It was the same exact list you’ll find for anorexia support forums and it was sickening. I don’t think that all of those things are necessary, because they do not help you tackle your will power or food addiction. Instead, I think this list is for people who are doing a cleanse simply to drop a drastic amount of weight then go back to their terrible eating habits. So when I felt weak, I took some ingredients from my list that I could eat within a juice…a sweet potato and some spinach and decided to bend the rules a little bit for my sanity and the continuation of the cleanse. Staying within the guidelines, I heated up the sweet potato and ate it that way. Later yesterday evening, I also sautéed up the spinach just enough to wilt it using water. The comfort of warm food (especially since it is cold here) really helped me get over the mental hump and I could continue on with the cleanse. I was afraid to post this, because I felt weak, but my dad encouraged me to be real and let people know that what they feel or will feel on the cleanse are common and can be tackled without complete failure. There is this strong urge to say “screw it” and go get a cheeseburger, but this makes the cleanse not only obsolete but an actual step backwards in a movement to a healthy lifestyle. It’s not worth it. I promise.

In order to make this cleanse valuable to my own needs pertaining my future goals, I am aiming for a 5 day cleanse. I am shortening it, simply because I do not think I am getting enough calories and transitioning to a clean (possibly paleo, soon) lifestyle would be much more effective before I fail and fall victim to the fast food influences, because I feel starved. I like to think I am not failing myself, but instead making an educated decision based on what my body is telling me to move forward before I DO ultimately fail. I still think that a 5 day cleanse is an accomplishment, and I still plan to continue to incorporate juices into my regular diet. I want everyone who reads this to take from it that completing a cleanse is an accomplishment of will power regardless the duration. If you want to continue to cleanse and increase the amount of days you complete, that is perfectly healthy and reasonable. Ultimately…listen to YOUR body. It is always the best judge of what you truly need to do.

I hope to continue to blog my fitness, diet, and overall health journey as I continue to tackle future goals and imminent downfalls.

Not knowing what to expect…

Today, I have had 3 and a half of my 5 suggested juices (I am finishing one now, and one is waiting for later). I picked out my juicer at Wal-mart, being the typical college student that I am, for $60 from Hamilton Beach. This was much less than I anticipated it being, as I expected to be spending around $100 to $150. I chose this juicer in particular because of the positive reviews it had on a number of sites in comparison to the more expensive ones (which surprised me).

This is the juicer I chose (you can click it to see some reviews I read that led me to purchase it):

When I got home, I made the 2 juices for my day: carrot apple ginger and the mean green. Each recipe made two servings, providing me with 4 juices for the day. Instead of the suggested fifth dessert juice, I had a Naked mango juice from the store this morning (since I woke up late). The preparation was very easy and relatively quick, and I was impressed with the taste of the juices as well. I prefer the carrot apple ginger juice over the mean green, but the mean green isn’t so bad. Neither juices are particularly savory, but more sweet instead.

So far today, the hunger that many people describe hasn’t really happened to me…instead I feel full. I guess I will know more as the days go by, as the first day hasn’t seemed all that difficult. I am pleasantly surprised, so far. This post has been difficult to write, honestly. Maybe my ability to communicate effectively has left me since beginning my juicing journey. Tomorrow, I will bring my A game.

P.S. this was my shopping list, as promised:

(http://www.rebootwithjoe.com)

Fruit
† 17 red apples
† 6 green apples
† 8 oranges
† 6 ripe peaches or pears
† 5 baskets blueberries
† 8 lemons
† 1 big bunch purple/black/red
grapes

Veggies
† 26 carrots
† 2 bunches celery
† 10 cucumbers
† 7 bunches kale (Australian Tuscan
Cabbage)
† 3 bunches leafy greens (collards,
kale/Australian Tuscan Cabbage,
chard)
† 2 bunches spinach
† 1 large head romaine lettuce
† 8 beets/beetroots
† 3 sweet potatoes

Fresh Herbs
† 1 bunch parsley
† 1 bunch mint
† 1 bunch basil
† 1 big hunk of gingerroot

Other
† 6, 16 oz. packages or bottles of
coconut water, or purchase
coconut water in larger containers,
at least 96 oz./3 quarts, or
just about 3 liters
† herbal teas

A Trip to Sprouts

So this morning I woke up later than I had hoped. 10 instead of 8. After getting ready for the anticipated first day, I headed to my local farmer’s market store, Sprouts. I had my list with me, but I was worried about price. It would seem like this much fruits and veggies would cost me an arm and a leg.

I walked in and grabbed a basket and headed for the coconut water…where I broke a bottle on accident. So that was fun. But once that ordeal was over with, I began to shop for my ridiculous amounts of produce. I’ll post the list later, but let me tell you….26 carrots, 27 red apples, and 13 bushels of greens later (a very condensed list of what I found hilariously large numbers)…I felt like everyone in the store was watching me and thinking I looked as silly as I felt. Once my reality kicked in and I realized juice cleanses were rather common at health food stores, I walked with a sort of pride to the cash register. I spent only $78 ish dollars which was much less than I anticipated. The cashier asked me if I was juicing, and I said yes. She began to chat with the bagger about how they should start juicing and suddenly I felt much less alone. All in all, it was a good experience.

Once I got home, the fun of stuffing the fridge I share with two roommates dampened my mood. Here’s what that looked like…my poor roommates.

So now I am going to go buy a juicer and Begin my journey. Updates to come later this evening.

Well…I’m starting a juice cleanse!

*Begin mocking my basic white girl status*

Yes, I know. How typical. In all honesty, though, I have struggled with my weight since I can remember (even though looking back…I used to be very fit and healthy contrary to my insecure beliefs). I’ve always been frustrated with my weight, even when it wasn’t really an issue. My family struggles with food addiction, and this has become an adopted trait on my behalf. Knowing that I control exactly what I put into my body, I am choosing to finally take charge of this addiction. While I will still, undoubtedly, struggle with constantly thinking of food and my next meal…I believe I can begin to control my urges. In learning to love my body and love myself, I chose to do this juice cleanse as a way of taking control of my will power and my food addiction. If I can drink nothing but juice for 15 days straight, I can stop myself from eating an entire box of pasta, or fast food, or that extra plate of food. That’s the thought at least.

This is the start of my last semester as an undergraduate at Texas Tech University, and I want to be fit and healthy as I enter the next phase of my life. I have an internship with an oil company this summer and I will hopefully be entering graduate school as a geology student (part II). It would be great to start these new experiences as a better me. I feel that I have accomplished so much during my educational endeavors and I would like to gift myself…with a new, healthier body and mindset. Congratulations, Heather! I give you extreme dieting! (I’m corny and awkward, I’m sorry).

Beyond the superficiality of wanting to look good, I want to be able to describe myself as healthy and active. I love hiking…and the more fit I am, the more I can do in that department. My dad has been my inspiration for wanting to become more active, as he has recently become very physically fit and taken control of his own addiction. He has been completely honest along the journey, commenting on his weaknesses and acknowledging when he falls short here and there. Regarding my own journey, he has been nothing but encouraging and has pushed me to be the best me and make changes for myself. I’d like to think my mom is joining me in this experience too, as she is beginning to make positive choices in terms of diet and exercise. She has been an amazing inspiration as well, having done things physically I never thought were possible during her weight loss journey in India. While she has struggled again recently, she has never stopped being my inspiration. She only proves to me that we are imperfect human beings and that this is something that needs to become a permanent part of my life…as the addiction is real and real life takes tolls on us. The fight never stops, it is all a part of the journey. I have very strong minded and bodied parents, and I wish I could thank them more for the qualities I love about myself that they’ve provided me with.

My friend Ashlyn and I are embarking on this adventure together, but she will begin 5 days behind me. We have both been making changes to our diets to be cleaner and healthier eaters before making this huge transition. The idea came to me (so original, I know) when I came downstairs one morning to my dad playing Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead on Netflix. While I’m not all that convinced after seeing the associated site that this isn’t some big Breville (sp?) promotional scam…the movie moved me and I am willing to give anything a try at this point.

So tomorrow starts my first ever juice cleanse. I’ve chosen the 15 day program from the reboot suggestions from the site mentioned before. I am, however, taking this 5 days at a time and trying to be realistic. I hope to update this blog daily…if only to help my sanity along the way. Following the cleanse, I plan to transition into a paleo-style diet. I think this will be a nice plan, because I have relatively frustrating intolerances to both gluten and (severely) lactose. So, here goes…